Friday, September 26, 2008

Not a Great Day

This has not been a very good day. It started off bad when Grace woke up at 4:30. Gene had fallen asleep upstairs so when I heard she was awake I went up to turn the tv off. Once I got up there I could see under Grace's bedroom door that she had turned on her closet light. I've already had to move her crib once because she got tall enough to reach the light switch. She's obviously had another growth spurt, because she can reach it again now. I was not excited about my findings, and I knew there was no way she would go back to sleep as long as the light was on.
I went in and got her and brought her downstairs. We tried rocking for a little bit, but I knew that wouldn't get us anywhere. She wasn't planning on falling back to sleep yet. I finally just put her in bed with me. Even after we laid down it took her a while to go back to sleep. I'm pretty sure I was asleep before her.
Gene had to take Colt to scool this morning because the band had to be there early for Homecoming activities. When Gene got home he came in our room to use the bathroom, and when he opened the door to come out Grace woke up. He picked her up and they went upstairs to watch tv. We all 3 ended up falling back to sleep for about an hour and a half.
Of course Gene and Grace woke up before me and of course they had to come in and wake me up. Gene kept pestering me and telling me I needed to get up and make breakfast. I was not ready to get up. I did though and started breakfast. We didn't have enough sausage left for more than one person so I didn't even mess with it, I just made some biscuits and scrambled eggs. I also made a pot of coffee. Our coffee pot is not the best. You have to put the pot on just right to keep it from messing up. Of course today would be a day that I messed it up.
I sent Grace in to get Gene out of bed. He walks into the kitchen and says "I guess we're having scrambled eggs" and just gives me a weird look. I let it go. He then walks to the coffee pot and starts to pour a cup. He makes some comment about how I didn't do it right. I let it go. He then makes another comment about the coffee. He walks over towards me and puts his hands out like he's going to touch me. I officially start an emotional breakdown. After going off on him about how he asks me to make breakfast and then it's not good enough. Embarassing. I must say that now, looking back, his comments were not meant to be rude in any way and that they were merely observations. I begin to cry. Embarassing. He instantly feels like crap. I can't speak for about 3 minutes. He grabs me and starts hugging me and telling me to calm down. Sweet right? Yea, I have no idea why I was so upset, but I was. I don't know what was wrong with me.
He makes us a plate and we eat. I'm better by this point. Not great. Just better. Grace gets her plate first, and by the time Gene and I sit down she has all but finished her 2 scrambled eggs. Hungry girl maybe?!

After Grace finishes her food, she's ready to get down and scope out Mommy and Daddy's. Gene loves apple butter (only apple butter from Silver Dollar City). Grace now loves apple butter as well. Gene had some on his plate that he was eating with his biscuits, and I had scooped some of my eggs into Grace's bowl because the child was still hungry. She starts saying "dip." Meaning she would now like to "dip" her eggs into the apple butter. Gross. She loves it!! Here is Daddy "dipping" for her so that she doesn't wear the apple buter.
Yes, that's the adorable man that I yelled at. They're too cute for words really.

Taking a break long enough to stick the tongue out for the camera.

She's been tired all day from her night of not so good sleep. She actually let Gene hold her like that for a while swinging her back and forth. She was on the verge of going back to sleep. Then she realized just how on the verge she was, and she was back down. No time for sleep people.

Ok, so I know I mentioned before that Grace was going to stay at her Nana and Papa's this weekend because we have a lot of activities going on. Well, Granny has not felt good the past 2 weeks. She went to the doctor not long after it all started and was told to come back in 2 weeks if it wasn't any better. She decided yesterday it wasn't any better and was calling the doctor this morning.

My phone was on vibrate overnight and I hadn't turned the ringer back on. I checked my phone and had a missed call, new voicemail, and a new text message. All from Mom. Not necessarily a good thing. The message just says to call when I wake up. I call. She answers, and I ask her how she is. She's good. Granny's not. My heart drops. She fell this morning in the bathroom, and called Mom around 6:15 to tell her. Mom gathered up some things and headed for Alma. When I talked to Mom she had called the doctor's office to schedule an appointment, and was waiting on a callback. Mom was becoming very impatient because it had been 2 hours. Granny's left leg was hurting her really bad and she could hardly walk on it. Of course Granny can't be home by herself in case something else were to happen. So, Mom is down there until they figure out exactly what's wrong and what the healing process looks like.

I was upset when I got off the phone. Upset because I'd already had a not so good morning. Upset because Granny's not feeling all. She's supposed to be Super Granny! Upset because my babysitter is an hour away. Not only was I upset about everything else going on, but I was upset about being upset. I was mad at myself for being upset that my plans for Saturday night now had a hink in them. I felt guilty, because I know as well as anybody else that Granny needs Mom down there with her and I was being selfish.

Gene left to go to they gym so Grace and I went upstairs to watch tv, because as I mentioned in a previous post, our big tv downstairs is broken. We hung out up there pretty much all day. Gene was only gone a couple of hours, and he came upstairs with us. The UPS guy came and dropped off our new bulb. Gene came down and put it in, and voila, our tv was working again! Corey got home from school, and we were all sitting down watching CSI:NY when the tv screen goes black. Again. Yes, that bulb burnt out 45 MINUTES after we put it in. Did I mention I was not having a great day? There goes $41 down the drain. There is a one year warranty, but they will just give us our money back...not replace the bulb. So, we'll probably only get about $26 back after shipping it back. Gene came to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with the tv that is burning it out because it wasn't making sense. He called a tv repair place, but we're both broke right now so it'll be a while before we can get it fixed. Gene hasn't been working construction because they don't have a job right now. Not having that extra money is definitely affecting us.

So, Grace and I are now home alone because Gene and Corey just left for the football game. I knew Grace would wear out quick and the temperature will probably get a little cool once the sun goes down. So, it's a girls' night here. Hopefully she'll go to bed semi early and I can too to catch up on some lost sleep from last night.

I really don't want to sound any more selfish and horrible than I already have, but I'm asking for your prayers. Prayers for my attitude, and that I will be able to look at the positives instead of focusing on the negative. Prayers for my faith, not because I've lost it, but sometimes it gets shaded and I lose sight of it a little bit. It's hard sometimes. And prayers for our finances. Gene and I were just having the discussion about what things we could cancel and cut back on to start saving money until he's working construction again.

If you're still with me, I thank you for your time and your thoughts. I'm off now to take care of motherly duties.


Leah said...

Oh, I'm sorry about Granny! I will be praying about that! Your mom shared w/me that she hadn't been doing very well. Keep me posted.

Also, Kendall is wearing a size 3 shoe right now.

Glad you got/liked the canvas!

Shelly said...

Oh my sweet friend, Taylor. I wish I could just reach through and hug your neck right now! I so totally know how you feel.

Your comment about your faith really hit home with me. I am going through a devotional book/Bible study right now by Beth Moore called Believing God: Experiencing a Fresh Explosion of Faith. Today's lesson had you answering questions about your faith. Kind of a faith inventory if you will. Anyway, when you said you sometimes lose sight of your faith, that's totally what I do. In the good times, I have so much faith-but when the bad times hit, my faith teeters a little. One of the verses I read tonight said "The Lord is near to all who call on him..." (Psalm 145:18) and "....Then you will call and the Lord will answer; You will call on the Lord and he will say "Here am I." (Isaiah 58:9) I guess for me (and my hope and prayer for you) I found comfort in these verses. It was a good reminder to cry out to the Lord during the rough times-during the times when our faith is wavering-and He will hear our cries. He will say "Here am I."

I so totally will pray for Granny. Isn't it so tough when the people we think aren't ever supposed to get old, let alone be in bad health, get sick or something happens to them? And if your anything like me, you feel totally helpless and that makes things worse. Please keep us posted on Granny. Though I don't know her personally, I feel like through your blog, that she's one cool Granny and I've come to love her!

I loved how you were so open about your emotions. I'm telling you sister, you and I were cut from the same mold. We are so alike it's scarey! We all have bad days-heck some of us have bad MONTHS-it's ok to cry and it's ok to have breakdowns. Sometimes ya just gotta cry in order to feel better.

I'm just glad to hear the part about Gene being so sweet in his handling of your bad day! What a guy! I've always known he's a sweetie, but being that we work at the PD, you don't get to see that side of the guys very much. Glad he takes such good care of you. :)

Get some rest tonight; being tired has a way of making things so much worse than they really are. Sleep good my friend, sleep good. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully it will be much, much better.

Thank you for sharing!

Love ya!

Shelly said...

Hey girl-I just tagged you! :)